Barack O'Liberal


About the Book

This fact-filled, satirical, insightful, and meticulously researched book (1,235 endnotes) reveals the secrets of President Obama's education at the schools that shaped him and his politics: Punahou, Occidental, Columbia, and Harvard Law School (six chapters on Harvard Law). Learn Obama's LSAT score (never before revealed), grades, class rank, courses, professors, extracurricular activities, applications, and recommenders; read the true story of how Obama was accepted to Harvard Law and became a member and then the president of the Harvard Law Review; hear about his request for affirmative action for himself and his denial of it for female law students; find out why his grandmother said he had "no head for money"; discover the mistakes in his law review articles; and get the real scoop on the disclosure of his transcripts. Written by a libertarian/conservative with a JD/MBA, the book skewers Obama's full-immersion liberal education with facts, logic, and humor.

About the Author

The author earned his AB (philosophy), JD (corporate law), and MBA (finance) from the University of Pennsylvania and has worked as a computer programmer, attorney, business executive, and consultant. Politically, he describes himself as a pragmatic libertarian/conservative.

Serious Excerpts

  • Obama's LSAT Score
    • Author Jack Cashill predicted, "As to Obama's LSAT scores, Jimmy Hoffa's body will be unearthed before those are." Time to get out the shovel because the mystery is about to be unearthed - that is, Obama's LSAT score, not Hoffa's body. . . . The derivation of Obama's LSAT score in this chapter is based solely on . . . data available to the public for over two decades from, among other places, the Library of Congress. All those who believe the Law School Admission Council shouldn't have disclosed such LSAT data should send their complaints directly to the LSAC . . . preferably before the data was published in 1990.
  • Rejected under an LSAT-GPA-only system
    • If Harvard Law School had used an LSAT-GPA-only admissions system that gave equal weight to the LSAT and GPA, then Obama would have been rejected (as well as about a third of his classmates). Harvard Law could have filled its entire 1988 entering class of 548 students simply by accepting all of its applicants who had LSAT scores of at least 43 and GPAs over 3.7. . . . Therefore, Harvard Law, as well as Yale Law, would have rejected Obama under an LSAT-GPA-only admissions system.
  • Obama's Harvard Law School Class
    • Obama's Harvard Law class was an eclectic group: 40% female and 22% minority. There were 57 blacks, 29 Latinos, 27 Asians, and five Native Americans in his class. It was considered a good omen by numerologists that the number of blacks equaled the number of states in the United States. Obama's classmates hailed from 45 states and 12 foreign countries, including Kenya (no joke). They ranged in age from 19 to over 50, with the average age being 23, which means that Obama was four years older than the average student. Although the students came from 133 colleges, seven feeder schools made up 40% of the class: Harvard - 64, Yale - 52, Stanford - 23, Princeton - 22, Michigan - 20, Brown - 20, and Columbia - 16. Obama's class included a nuclear submarine electrician, former Harvard literature teacher, former associate dean of the Harvard Medical School, construction worker, and native Alaskan researcher. . . .
  • The Review's First Black President
    • Prior to the '70s, the law review member with the highest law school grades was automatically the Harvard Law Review's president. During this period, every one of those presidents was a white male. This is a strange fact given that William T. Coleman, Jr., an African American, graduated first in his class from Harvard Law in 1946. If Coleman was prevented from being the Review's president in 1945 because of his race, then Obama became the first president of the Review only because of anti-black racism against Coleman. Since Obama would not have been a national star if he had been elected the second black (and fourth minority) president of the Review, Obama may now be the president of the United States thanks to the Review's racism in 1945 and non-racism in 1990. In any event, Coleman, a pro-Reagan Republican, is really Harvard Law's first African American megastar: Coleman was the first black to graduate first in his class from Harvard Law, the first black to clerk for a Supreme Court Justice, the first to be offered a Harvard Law professorship (not Derek Bell), and perhaps the first to have earned the presidency of the Harvard Law Review
  • Obama's Harvard Law Class Rank
    • In Obama's Harvard Law Class of '91, no one graduated summa cum laude, 14% graduated magna cum laude, and 53% graduated cum laude. (Yes, I know what liberal readers are thinking: it's appalling that 100% didn't graduate summa cum laude.) Since 67% of the class graduated with some kind of honors, approximately 90 students who were in the bottom half of the class graduated cum laude. Of the 44 members of the Class of '91 who made the Harvard Law Review, a total of 30 (68%) graduated magna cum laude (including Obama), 11 graduated cum laude, and three graduated without honors. Since Obama graduated magna cum laude, he graduated in the top 14% of his class and was one of the top 73 students in his graduating class of 530 students. Graduating magna cum laude means he had an A- average. Obama didn't win the Sears Prize, which is given annually to the students (typically, two) with the highest first- and second-year grades. John Bu won the Fay Diploma, which is given to the student graduating with the highest overall GPA for all three years of law school. Therefore, Bu, not Barack, was the top student in the Class of '91.
  • Big Business Leader
    • During the fiscal year that included Obama's Volume 104 of the Harvard Law Review, the average per issue paid circulation was 6,768. For that fiscal year, sales were down 4% from the prior fiscal year and almost 20% of the issues printed remained unsold. Using the $36 annual subscription fee as a guide, the Review's total sales were approximately $250,000. As no Obama supporter doubts, Obama's one year of experience running a multi-hundred-thousand-dollar organization of approximately 80 people fully prepared him to run the multi-trillion dollar federal government with its millions of employees. In a totally unrelated matter, the manager of a typical McDonald's outlet runs a multi-million-dollar business.

Tongue-in-Cheek Excerpts

  • Rodent Rights Debate
    • A mice infestation at the Harvard Law Review's offices during Obama's presidency sparked a protracted debate among the Review's editors about rodent rights (no joke). It would have been fascinating to have been a fly on the wall or a cockroach on the floor while the geniuses on the Review hotly debated the many profound issues relating to the constitutional rights of rodents, such as the following: Must Miranda warnings be given to an alleged rodent "perp" (and, if so, must they be given in the rodent's native language)? Must the taxpayers pay for the rodent's A.C.L.U. lawyer? Does a jury of 12 human lawyers constitute a jury of a rodent's peers? Does the Geneva Convention require that rodents in medical labs be given premium cable TV (today, unlimited access to Facebook and Twitter)? . . .
  • Harvard Law's Rejection Letter
    • Dear Reject:
      It is with pleasure and no regrets that we inform you that you are among the 6,300 applicants rejected this year by Harvard Law School. . . . For the record, your rejection was also urged by countless letters, petitions, and phone calls from concerned citizens, including your parents. . . . With regard to some of the answers you provided on your application, please be advised that Harvard Law School does not consider voting to constitute a community service activity, exhaling carbon dioxide to be an agricultural job, a gold star in kindergarten to be an academic award, or making your bed each New Year's Day to be a significant achievement. Although you did receive one rave recommendation, we must remind you that our guidelines strictly prohibit recommendations for an applicant from the applicant. . . .
  • Obama's Harvard Law Essay
    • . . . To transform the world, I need to enhance my power by becoming a lawyer and politician. My motto is: always bring a law degree to a political knife fight. In the halls of government, a Harvard Law School degree is the political equivalent of a fully automatic weapon. Voters go for the Harvard Law brand like pigeons go for peanuts. Populist leftists love to vote for political elites who say they're populists opposed to elites. My dream is to one day be one of those multimillionaire Harvard elites who is a "man of the people." . . .
      Making money is evil, but redistributing it is divine. . . . Since money is the root of all evil, my goal is to spread the wealth to the point where there is neither any wealth nor any incentive to earn wealth. Spreading wealth, like spreading manure, enriches the world. The stink is worth it.
  • Obama's Columbia College Essay
    • . . . In high school, my interests were bowling, basketball, body surfing, hanging with the Choom Gang, and underachieving academically. At Oxy, my interests have been bowling, basketball, politics, writing, and hanging with the Choom Gang. If accepted to Columbia, my interests will be bowling, studying intensely, hanging with the radicals, and not hanging with the Choom Gang. By the way, does Columbia have a varsity bowling team?
  • Obama's Oxy College Essay
    • . . . My grandfather kept America safe during WWII by killing Nazis, although I'm embarrassed to admit that he did so without first reading them their Miranda rights, giving them an A.C.L.U. lawyer, flying them to America, and conducting a civilian trial by a jury composed of the alleged perpetrator's peers (i.e., 12 other Nazis). My grandmother broke a glass ceiling by rising from secretary to vice president of the Bank of Hawaii. One day I hope to honor her achievement by being the person who stands in the way of a woman breaking the ultimate glass ceiling: the US presidency.
  • Oxy's Mother Goose Courses
    • Occidental College currently teaches a course entitled Mother Goose to Myspace (no joke). I know what you're all thinking: who's the moron who made this course about Myspace instead of Facebook? In any event, this course is apparently targeted to those unselfish Oxy students who plan upon graduation to let other college graduates take the above-minimum-wage jobs. According to the catalog, this course asks many of the key metaphysical questions that have stumped philosophers for centuries, such as the following: "Why did the London Bridge fall down? Is Rub-a-dub-dub really about bath time? Why didn't an old man live in a shoe? Who is more imperialist, Babar or Peter Pan? Is Tinky Winky gay?" (I could not have made this up if I had tried.) In a totally unrelated matter, most students in China focus on science, math, engineering, computer science, and business courses.

Before beginning this sojourn about our liberal savior, the Obamassiah, let us bow our heads and read in unison from The Obama Bible: The Last Sequel (www.obama.god), Genesis 1: 26-30 and Genesis 2: 1-18:

... God saw all She had made without government or union assistance, and indeed it was good, on time, and within budget. She beheld the universe and sayeth, "I built that. Yes, I did." Evening came and morning came: the sixth day. ...

Read the rest of the Obamassiah Invocation: Genesis